There have been reports of the company’s donations to anti-gay organizations for years, but now president and COO Dan Cathy is officially out of the proverbial closet. In a July 16th interview with the Baptist Press (a Christian news organization that must be given credit for its delightfully punny catchphrase: “We have GOOD NEWS!”), Cathy discussed details of the company’s WinShape Foundation.
First of all: WinShape? Oh, you’re shaping people to become winners, are you? Well, my unshapely windows want their portmanteau back.
According to Cathy, WinShape began as a college scholarship and has somehow “morphed into a marriage program in conjunction with national marriage ministries.” He continues, “We are very much supportive of the family - the biblical definition of the family unit.”
Oh, goodie! Finally, a place to buy chicken that supports my father’s right to trade me for the severed foreskins of two hundred dead Philistines:
Therefore David arose and went, he and his men, and slew of the Philistines two hundred men; and David brought their foreskins, and they gave them in full measure to the king, that he might be the king’s son-in-law. And Saul gave him Michal his daughter for a wife. 1 Samuel 18:27Well, two hundred foreskins might be pushing it, in my case. My dad would probably just get a few scraggly-looking chickens in exchange for me. At least then he wouldn’t have to eat at Chick-Fil-A.
After coming out (!) as an anti-gay rights organization, Chick-Fil-A lost the support of the Muppets (because… duh) and Boston mayor Thomas M. Menino, among others. Soon after the fallout, Cathy released a statement that “going forward, our intent is to leave the policy debate over same-sex marriage to the government and political arena.”
That’s fine. But now we all know that when we give Chick-Fil-A our money, we’re financially supporting anti-gay marriage groups like the Family Research Council and the Marriage & Family Foundation.
Of course, local farms can use their profits to support whatever they want, too. So do the research. Where can you buy free-range chicken from a farm in your area? What will your money ultimately go toward? Check out Eat Wild, a resource with maps and information about pasture-raised meat and poultry near you.
It’s not like I ate at Chick-Fil-A in the first place, to be honest. I don’t think I’ve ever even seen a Chick-Fil-A in real life, though I have certainly chuckled to myself over that ad campaign in which a cow standing on its hind legs encourages us to “Eat Mor Chikin.”
Because everyone knows that while cows apparently have the language economy of Hemingway and the dexterity to wield Sharpie markers, they can’t spell for sh*t.